Gabby and Wes: 3 - Flipped Upside Down

“You know, Gabby, if you came out to visit me more often, you’d have a fighting chance to get acclimated to life out here,” Wes explained as he handed Gabby her dinner.  He sat across from her at his kitchen table, grinning as Gabby shuddered in response. 

“And you know, it wouldn’t kill you to come out and visit me,” she replied as she toyed around with her soup.

Wes watched her in amusement.  “We tried that once, remember?  Your fancy city life is way too opulent for me.”

“Oooh, ‘opulent’ – Big word for a country boy,” teased Gabby. 

Knowing his cousin, Wes just stared at her with a carefully blank face so as not to egg her on.  But as usual, it didn’t work.  Gabby continued, “in case you weren’t sure, that was sarcasm.  Here, let me spell it out for you,” and she started to dig around in her soup.  Wes couldn’t contain a smirk any longer, and it played at the corner of his lips as he watched Gabby’s brows come together.  “What’s the matter, cuz?” he asked.

Gabby put her spoon down in frustration.  “I can’t find what I’m looking for.  I never knew there were no punctuation marks in alphabet soup.”

Wes laughed.  “Have you ever had alphabet soup before, Gabby?”  She just smirked back at him in response.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” Wes chuckled.  “Well, hurry and finish your dinner, because I have another ‘first’ planned for you tonight.”

Gabby eyed him suspiciously.  “What are you up to?” she asked.

Leaning back in his chair, Wes smiled broadly as he said “Bullesque.”

Gabby crinkled her nose.  “Bullesque?  What the fuck is that?”

“It’s only the most high-end dining, drinking and bull-riding bar around here.  Pure country opulence,” he teased.

“Bull riding?” Gabby repeated in disbelief.

Wes shrugged.  “Well, mechanical.”

Gabby rolled her eyes.  “God help me,” she muttered. 

Wes threw his napkin at her.  “Better get dressed, if we get there too late we’ll be hard-pressed to find parking.”

Gabby arched a brow.  “Seriously?  Parking there is a problem?”  Wes gave her a leveled look.  “I mean, ye-haw!” she tossed back at him, then bolted out of her chair as Wes made to come after her.  Laughing, Gabby ran upstairs to change as Wes stood in the kitchen shaking his head at her.

After a bit, Gabby came into the front room calling out to Wes.  “I’m ready to go!  When will you – ” She stopped short when she saw her cousin sitting on the couch.  Looking him over, she asked “Really? Is that what you guys wear to go out around here?”

“What?” asked Wes as he stood up and slowly spun around in front of her.  “What’s throwing you off?  The belt buckle?  The boots?  The hat?  Surely I don’t look that alien to you.  Under this garb, we’re perfectly ordinary Americans.”  He flashed Gabby his most rakish smile.

“Perfectly ridiculous….” Gabby muttered under her breath.

Wes feigned insult. “What was that?” he asked.

Gabby smiled sweetly at him in return.  “Nothing, dear warped cousin.  I’m always game for an adventure.” 

Wes was the one rolling his eyes this time.  “Never one to miss an opportunity for sarcasm, are you?”

“You know me,” replied Gabby lovingly.  She grabbed Wes’ keys from the coffee table and tossed them to him.  “Ready to rock n’ roll?  Or boot-stomp, or whatever it is you do out here?”

Wes caught the keys and chuckled.  “Oh, you are so going down tonight.”  Gabby merely smiled at him in response as she breezed past him through the front door.

Thirty minutes later, after claiming one of the few remaining spots in the parking lot, Gabby and Wes walked into Bullesque.  Gabby paused just inside the door as her eyes strove to take in her surroundings.  “Oh my God.  The whole world here is flipped upside down!” she mused in astonishment.

“What do you want, Gabby?  Cherry blossoms in winter?” asked Wes with a smile.

Gabby looked at her cousin with a wry glance.  “What, you’re a poet now?  All this fresh air has finally done you some good?”

“Amazing what a little unpolluted air will do for a person.”  Wes gave her a pointed look, which she ignored.  Instead, she was focused on the commotion to her left.  In the center of a large, roped-off platform, she watched as a man whipped back and forth on the back of a mechanical bull, waving his hat steadily in the air with one hand and holding on tightly with the other. 

“You weren’t kidding??  People really do that?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes,” replied Wes.  “They do it because they’re ‘game for adventure’.”  Gabby didn’t miss his pointed retort, and she glanced sideways at him. 

“You are going to ride the bull, aren’t you?” Wes teased.

Gabby gave him a startled look.  “You can’t be serious?”

Wes shrugged.  “I’m afraid I’m still naïve enough to believe the impossible can’t be done.”

“You’re impossible,” Gabby replied.  Looking around the room at her options, she zeroed in on the only one that made any sense to her - the farthest side of the room with all the liquor bottles lining the shelves.  She turned to Wes and said “I’m just going to hang around the bar.  I don’t want to look conspicuous.”

Wes eyed Gabby as she walked away, her long red skirt swaying with each step and her crystal heeled stilettos clicking across the wooden floor.  ‘Don’t want to look conspicuous’?  Yeah, good luck with that,’ he laughed to himself as he stepped in line behind her.

 

© Dahlia Ramone: December, 2013

 

 

This was written for Blogophilia Week 46.5

 

Topic:  Flipped Upside Down

Bonus Points: (Hard, 2pts): Incorporate a quote

of the original Batman TV series from the 60's**

(Easy, 1pt):    Include 'cherry blossoms in winter'

 

**  I used the following Batman quotes:

Robin:  I never knew there were no punctuation marks in alphabet soup.

Robin:  Under this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.

Barbara: I'm afraid I'm still naive enough to believe the impossible can't be done.

Batman:  I'm just going to hang around the bar. I don't want to look conspicuous.

 

Gabby and Wes: 2 - You were serious about that?

Trying not to let the exasperation show in her voice, Gabby glanced over at her cousin.

“Thanks again for picking me up at the airport,” she said.

“You’re welcome” replied Wes cheerfully.

“So, how much farther?” she asked.

Wes looked sideways at his cousin.  “It wasn’t that long ago that you’ve been out here.  You know I live ninety minutes from the airport.  What time does it say on that fancy watch of yours?” he teased.

Gabby rolled her eyes.  “We’ve been bouncing along in this old truck of yours for an hour now.” 

Always one to jump at the opportunity to goad his cousin, Wes replied “So, tell me again about that car rental snafu.”

Gabby rolled her eyes.  “I swear I’d have been better off if I just drove here rather than fly.  Stupid rental car people.”

“It would’ve taken you four days to get here,” mused Wes.

"Yeah?  Well, at least I’d have air conditioning” said Gabby, wiping her brow.

“And cruise control.  And plush leather seats.  And GPS.  And shocks,” threw in Wes.  His mock tirade ended when Gabby punched him in the arm.

“Hello??  Driving here,” said Wes, rubbing his shoulder.

“More driving; less mocking” replied Gabby.  Resting her head against the seat, Gabby took slow breaths and willed herself to unwind.  The rental car people had been so disorganized, losing her reservation and leaving her practically stranded at the airport.  Fortunately, Wes had been in the house when she called him, frantic, with no way to get to his place.   He never carried the cell phone she bought him last Christmas.  ‘Probably still in the box,’ she thought to herself with a grin.  She would never be able to modernize her cousin.  Wes glanced over and saw the smile on Gabby’s face.

"What are you smiling about?” he asked.

“I’ll never tell,” Gabby replied slyly. 

Wes smiled back.  “Glad to see you’re in a better mood.  Hungry?”

“I’m starving!  Are we going to stop somewhere?” asked Gabby excitedly.

“No place between here and home.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I don’t know,” laughed Wes.  “But I might have some snacks in the glove box.”

Gabby reached over and began sifting through the glove box, moving around papers, one work glove and a flashlight before finding food.   Glancing over at Wes she asked “a fortune cookie?”

“Hey!  That’s where I left that!”

Gabby turned it over in her hands as if studying it.  “And exactly how old is this?” she asked.

“Does it matter?  It’s still in plastic.  Those things are good for years.”

Gabby shuddered and put it back in the glove box.  “I’ll save it for you,” she said.

Wes laughed.  Smiling over at him, they teased and made small talk the rest of the ride home.

By the time they finally started down the long driveway to Wes’ farm, the sun was already making its way down.  Hot and exhausted, Gabby had one foot out the door before Wes had the ignition off.  Chuckling at his cousin, he watched her jump out of the truck.

“Careful!  You’ll break a heel,” he warned.

“Bite me” Gabby retorted as she reached into the bed of the truck for her bags.  Whistling to himself, Wes grabbed two of her bags and led the way to the front door.  As they set all Gabby’s bags down, Wes counted them and asked “so, how long are you staying again?”

“A week, why?”

“I’m gonna hate myself for asking this, but why do you need so many bags?”

“Ummmm…because I’ll be here for a week,” explained Gabby slowly.

“Riiiight.  So, when you were packing, you remembered I live on a farm…in the country?”

Gabby eyed Wes.  “And where are you going with this?” she asked.

Wes shrugged his shoulders.  “I just don’t see why you need so many clothes.  You know, you can wear the same thing two days in a row out here.”

Gabby looked at him, horrified.  Wes laughed.

With an exasperated sigh, Gabby spun around and headed into the house.  They lived to one-up each other, and Wes got her on that one.  He was still chuckling as he followed her inside.

“I’m dying of thirst, where’s your water?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen. 

“Kitchen sink,” Wes replied.  He came into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Gabby standing at the refrigerator, looking intently inside.

“What are you looking for?” he asked.

“Water, I said I was thirsty,” she replied.

“Yeah, and I said to get it at the kitchen sink.”

Gabby turned to look at Wes.  “You were serious about that?” she asked incredulously.

Wes rolled his eyes.  “Yes, Gabby.  I live in the unpolluted country - we don’t need bottled water here.”

“Pfffft!  Whatever,” said Gabby as she grabbed a glass.  Then, not being able to resist herself, she stood in front of the faucet and asked “so, how does this thing work?”

Wes didn’t miss the sly grin on his cousin’s face.  “Figure it out,” he laughed as he grabbed a beer for himself. 

Walking back outside with their drinks, they settled on the porch swing. 

“So, tell me about this new baby cow you bought,” said Gabby.

“I’ll show her to you.  She should be in the holding pen.” Wes got up and walked to the edge of the porch.  Looking to the left and noticing the holding pen was open, he turned quickly back to Gabby.

“Oh, crap!  She got out.”  Quickly Wes ran to the barn to grab a rope.  Gabby stood and walked over to the other side of the porch while she waited for him to come back with the rope.  When he did, she asked “is the calf brown, with two white splotches?”

“Yes!  Did you see her?” he asked earnestly.

“Yeah, she’s around the corner, masticating trefoils.”

“What??” asked Wes.

Gabby laughed.  “She’s eating clover, dumbass.”

Looking at his cousin like she was out of her mind, Wes walked around to the side of the porch.  “Okay, Smarty Pants,” he said.  “Are you going to help me catch her now?”

“Sure,” replied Gabby.  “Just let me go and change into my boots.”

“You actually brought boots?” asked Wes in disbelief.

“Yes, silly.  One of those bags I brought is for my shoes,” replied Gabby as she headed back into the house.

Wes shook his head and smiled when she came back out a few minutes later in cowboy boots.  ‘Maybe I’ll countrify her yet,’ he thought to himself.

 

© 2008 Dahlia Ramone

 

This was written for Blogophilia

Week 16 Topic: You were serious about that?

bonus points:  (hard, 2 points): mention a trefoil
(easy, 1 point): use the phrase "fortune cookie"

 

 

Gabby and Wes: 1 - Down on the Farm

 

Excitement…tinged with apprehension - that’s what Gabby was feeling as she drove down the unfamiliar country roads.  She was visiting her cousin Wes on his country farm for the weekend.  She’d never been on a farm before.  But he’d been asking her repeatedly to come out and visit and, as she hadn’t seen Wes in forever and missed him, she finally gave in.  She would have preferred he visit her in the city, but she was always up for something new and different.

Driving down the country roads, she noticed they were few and far between.  She also noticed with dismay that some of them weren’t marked.  Her eyes went back to the directions she held in her hand.  She was looking for Road N.  She drove a little further until she came up to a “T” in the road.  Slowing down, she was irritated to find the side road unmarked.  ‘Dammit,’ she thought to herself.  That was probably the one she wanted.  It would be just her luck that she would need the unnamed road.   Comparing her directions to the meter reading on her dash, she noticed that she had already driven more miles than she should have - she should have reached Road N by now.  ‘Stupid map’ she muttered as she reached for her cell.  After what seemed an inordinate amount of time, her cousin finally answered.

“I think I’m lost in the boonies,” she told Wes. 

Wes chuckled.  He could just picture his cousin, looking completely fabulous yet completely out of place on some lone country road.  He imagined her gabbing on her cell, looking through her over-sized sunglasses.  Hell, she was probably even driving in stilettos.  ‘That’s Gabby’ he thought fondly. 

“Good to hear your voice sweetie,” he replied.

“Yeah, well, it’ll be great to see you.  Now tell me how the hell to find Road N.”

“Where are you now?” he asked.

“Shit I don’t know.  Some boring-ass road,” Gabby replied as she looked around for any type of landmark. 

“Did you pass the three white silos yet?  You need to turn there,” Wes told her.

“How the hell am I supposed to know that?   The map doesn’t say anything about silos,” complained Gabby in frustration.  “I just see an old orange barn coming up on the left.”

“You’ve gone too far,” Wes advised her.  “You need to turn around and go back about five miles.”

“Oh, fuck,” said Gabby as she hit the brakes and spun her car around. 

“Just look for the silos, and then turn right,” Wes instructed her.

“Yeah, yeah.  I’ll see you in a few,” said Gabby as she hung up.

Trying not to get too frustrated and relieved she was at least now going in the right direction, Gabby tried to relax.  Finding her turn, she soon found herself nearing Wes’ farm.  Breathing deeply, she rolled down her windows in the sunshine.  Instantly, she crinkled her nose.  ‘Mistake’ she thought as she rolled her windows back up. 

A few minutes later, she was pulling up in front of Wes’ house.  He bounded off the porch to greet her and, as Gabby stepped out of her car, immediately had her in a bear hug.

“Gabby!  It’s been too long,” he said excitedly.  Letting go of her, he swept his arm in a wide arc and asked “so, what do you think?”

“It smells like freakin’ Africa out here.”

Laughing, Wes replied “Like you’ve been to Africa.  Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

Gabby rolled her eyes.  “I doubt it.”

“You will.  Come on, let’s get your stuff inside.”  Gabby popped the trunk to her rental car.  Wes chuckled as he looked inside.  Turning to Gabby, he said “two leopard-print bags and a zebra bag?  It looks like you have ‘freakin’ Africa’ in your trunk.”

“Oh, shut up,” retorted Gabby good-humoredly as she started handing bags to her cousin.  “Just show me where my room is.”  Grinning widely, Wes obliged.

After unpacking and taking a mini powernap, Gabby came down from her room and found Wes in the kitchen, rifling through a box.  “What are you doing?” she asked.

Wes looked up from the box.  “Oh, my dad brought this box over when he came out to visit last week.  He knew you were coming and thought there might be stuff in here you’d want.”

Curious, Gabby walked over to the table and peered into the box.  Inside it, she easily recognized several items from their youth. 

“Hey,” she began, “this looks like stuff from your old room - from back when you lived in Los Ameros.” 

“It is,” replied Wes.  “Mom found this box in the back of my closet.  Hey, remember these?”  He pulled out two plastic helmets, with wires and plastic sunglasses taped to them.

“Oh my God.  Our old spy gear,” Gabby gasped.  “Do you remember all the spying we used to do?”

“Yeah, and all the trouble we got into as a result?” he replied.  They both laughed as they recalled the mischief they got into as kids.

Wes dug around a little more in the box.  “Hey, wasn’t this your record?” he asked as he pulled out an old ABBA vinyl record album.

“Um, definitively not,” replied Gabby.

“Oh, yes it is.  Don’t you remember?  You used to play this all the time and danced in front of the mirror when you thought no one was looking.”

“Seriously, I didn’t,” denied Gabby as she took a turn shuffling through the box.

“You did too.  You were a closet ABBA lover,” he goaded.  He knew damn well it wasn’t her album, but that didn’t stop him from teasing her.

“Oh, bite me,” she retorted.

In mock outrage, Wes grabbed the box and turned away.

“Well, if that’s the way you’re going to be, then you can’t see what else is in the box.”

“Fine,” replied Gabby with a shrug.  “It’s all your crap anyway.”  She jumped up on the table and surveyed the kitchen.  “So, what do you have to eat in this place?”

“You’re favorite - salmon,” replied Wes as he sat the box down and walked over to the refrigerator.  "How about some wine while you're waiting?"  Pulling out a bottle of wine, he poured for himself and his cousin.  The rest of the evening passed quickly as they cooked, drank, ate and reminisced. 

The following morning saw Wes up early as usual and Gabby - well, she was never really a morning person.  But by 11:00 a.m. she was up and ready to start her day.  Sort of.  Groggy and in need of some serious caffeine, Gabby went outside looking for her cousin.  She found him near the barn.

“I’m going to Starbucks.  Do you want anything?” she asked.

“Um, sweetie, I live in the country, remember? There isn’t a Starbucks within a thirty mile radius of here.”

Gabby stared at Wes incredulously.  “Dude, that’s seriously jacked up.”

He looked at her bemusedly.  She shrugged.  “I’m just sayin’.”

“You’re weird.  Who says that?” he asked.

“You’re weird.  Who doesn’t?”

“Poser.”

“Loser.”

And with that, Gabby turned on her stilettoed heel and gingerly started to walk away in the soft dirt.  Wes shook his head at his cousin.  “Effen city girl,” he muttered affectionately.

“I heard that,” she tossed over her shoulder.

“What?” replied Wes innocently.

Gabby turned back toward Wes, hands on her hips.  “You haven’t changed one bit,” she observed.

“Nope, and you love me for it,” Wes replied.  To which Gabby simply sighed loudly.  Realizing she wasn’t going to get her usual morning latte, she continued.  “Fine.  I’ll make my own coffee.  You do have cream, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s in the barn,” replied Wes with a glint in his eye.

Gabby arched one brow quizzically at her cousin.

“Well, the cows do need to be milked.  Do you want to try?”

“You can't be serious," said Gabby.  

 

"How seriously do you want cream for your coffee?" asked Wes.  He picked up a metal pail by the barn door and held it out to Gabby.  Shaking it, he teased "The cows aren't going to milk themselves.  And you haven't learned how to drink your coffee black yet."

 

“Bite me,” she retorted.

“So, is that a no?” he asked.

“That’s a hell no.”

Wes just couldn’t help himself.  He loved giving his cousin shit.  

Gabby was decidedly less amused.  Shaking her head at her irrepressible cousin, she headed indoors.  Roughly thirty minutes later, Wes joined her.  He found her curled up on the couch, coffee cup in one hand and examining a small white tile that she held in her other hand.  Coming closer and realizing what she held, he excitedly grabbed it from her.

“Where did you find this?” he asked.

“It was stuck behind the cushions,” Gabby replied, wondering why her cousin was so excited.  “What the fuck is it?” she asked.

“It’s a mah-jongg tile.” 

Gabby looked blankly at Wes.  “Yeah, like I said…what the fuck is it?”

“You know, you should clean up your mouth.  I think the city’s corrupting you.”

“No, you’ve just lost your edge,” Gabby countered.

Wes rolled his eyes.  He handed the tile back to Gabby.  She studied the dragon picture on the face of it more intently as he explained the game to her.  Then he finished excitedly, “I’m so glad you found it.  I pulled the set out the other day to play and saw that I was missing a piece.  I was really bummed.  Turned the whole house apart but couldn’t find it anywhere.”

Handing the tile back to him, she stated “you’re lame.”

 “You're lame.”

“Your face is lame.”

“You know, as much as I love standing around bantering with you, I do have other things that I need to get done.”

“Really?  What else is there to do around here besides milk cows?” Gabby asked teasingly.

“Somehow, I don’t think you’ll be much interested in anything that goes on here,” Wes began.  But I do have to go into town for a few things.  Wanna come?”

“Oh, like I’m going to pass up a chance to go shopping,” replied Gabby.

“Well, don’t get too excited,” cautioned Wes.  “We don’t have fancy malls here - just a couple strip centers.”

“Oh,” Gabby replied, just a tad disappointed.  Her tone didn’t escape Wes.

“You know, if you’re interested, there’s also a county fair going on right now,” he offered.

“A fair?” Gabby’s interested perked up a little.  “I haven’t been to a fair since I was a kid.”

“Since?  You’re still a kid, Gabby.  I don’t think you’ll ever grow up,” said Wes affectionately.

In response, Gabby crinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at her cousin.

Wes laughed.  “See what I mean?  Come on, I’ll win you a ridiculously oversized stuffed animal.  I still have a pretty good arm, you know.”

Excited, Gabby jumped up from the couch.  “I guess living in the country does have its perks,” she said as they headed out the door.

 

© 2007 Dahlia Ramone

 

This was written for Loaded for Blog:

This week’s topic is a story, subject being: "Down On The Farm"

(include a mah-jongg tile and an ABBA record)